Review 1AA – Red 2

The Wife and I saw "Red 2" a coupla weeks or three ago, and she said I should tell y'all what I thought.

I liked "Red" the first better. Both movies were sorta in the "Expendables" vein – you know, that Sylvester Stallone pair of flicks about old mercenaries also released for summer '13?

In this one, the CIA (or somebody) needs ex-black ops superagent Bruce Willis, again retired, extremely dangerous (RED. Get it?) and his team to retrieve a portable WMA. Willis does a fair job, with just the right amount of smirk and wise-assedness.

And John "Nutcase" Malkovich (my nickname, not his) again almost steals the show as Willis's PARANOID (as opposed to calmly paranoid) buddy. But I really like Helen Mirren as a retired-but-still-keeping-her-trigger-finger-in-it assassin. She's so elegant-looking, and that plays wonderfully into her role.

For our ticket price, us guys get lotsa BOOMs, BANGs, KEE-RASHs and KAPOWs. Also, RATATATATATs and tires SQUEEEEALing. But the movie lacks something. I guess we've pretty much seen it already. The Wife liked it. I didn't think it was really needed....

I can't recall any language that leaped out at me, Moms. The violence, I don't know. I suppose it's not any worse than most video games. But there're probably other guys' movies out now with more kid appeal. "Pacific Rim," for example.

All in all, an adequate guys' movie. It gets 3 knuckle sandwiches, with just a dab of mustard.

Review 27.0 – Wolverine

My buddy J (not his real name. I don't wanna embarrass him when he acts out) and I saw "Wolverine" yesterday during our $5 Guys' Movie & Beer Tuesday at the local multiplex. Loved it. (Actually, it's just called $5 Tuesday. The rest is how I view it.)

For those of you who may not know, Wolverine probably is Marvel Comics' first superhero who shed blood, his and others. He's always getting wounded, but he heals quickly. He has these long claws, see, that he can "unsheathe" from his knuckles (Don't ask me how. This is fantasy, okay? Not science.). Rather than shoot beams from his eyes or throw fireballs or shape-shift or pound his magic hammer, he just sticks those babies out and goes to slicing and dicing.

Australian (I think) Hugh Jackman stars. And, boy, they couldn't have cast Wolverine any better!

Even though it was a departure from the normal prevent-the-apocalypse/save-the-world action flick we've been viewing this summer, "Wolverine" still had plenty of action: a plethora (Whoa! a buck-25 word! I''m impressed!) of explosions, swords and fistfights, car chases and gunfire. And some niiice-looking ladies. And as a bonus, a plot!

When buddy J and I left the theater, we were pretty tired. Personally, I had to go home and take a nap. But truthfully, I'm not sure if it was from all the action or our traditional post-flick brew. Either way, "Wolverine" had everything a guy wants in a movie (that can be shown in a family movie complex, of course).

Gals, somebody may have dropped one f-bomb, I can't remember. But otherwise, the language was amazingly clean. (No nudity, durnnit.) Unless superhero violence disturbs them, don't worry about my comments re bloodshed. Almost all of it is very tame by today's standards. If you have a child that this movie bothers, you probably shouldn't be taking him/her to any of the PG-rated flicks out now.

Solid Guys' movie overall. I think I'll give it four knuckle sandwiches, a stick-on star for plot and a "Yum!" for a couple of the supporting cast members.