I didn't make the Guys' Movie $5 Tuesday last week. The Wife and I kept our most-beautiful-little-girl-in-the-whole-world granddaughter all day, and my buddy J had to go by himself.
We're back at it this week, however. Just returned from seeing "Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)." And, no, I don't have a clue why they dated the title. I certainly can't imagine this being a remake. Wikipedia says (for what that's worth) the movie was adapted from one of the six novels in Cassandra Clare's "young adult fantasy" series, The Mortal Instruments.
I think if this movie aims at "young adults," (my emphasis) it's aiming a bit high. I told my buddy J I'd really have loved it, if I'd been an 14-year-old girl. (I think he took it wrong, 'cuz he gave me a really funny look and backed away just a bit....)
There was a better-than-average amount of action; some sword/spear play; but nothing spectacular. It was pretty harmless, actually, with no blood to speak of. Only a couple mediocre explosions. And no gunplay, no car chases. What sort of Guys' movie has no car chases or crashes, I ask you???
I gotta say something about the casting here. The females were really cute and sexy, running around in their latex/leather/rubber/whatever the stuff was outfits dispatching demons, etc. But if you read the descriptions of the main characters — apparently, the four or five same ones reappear throughout the series — whoever cast them missed the boat. For one example, Jase,the main heartthrob of the heroine Clary, is s'posed to be this tall, muscular blond. He's tall and blond, but I think he's wormy. And all his muscles put together wouldn't have made up one good Spiderman bicep. I was wondering if his earlobes were gonna flap in the wind as he rode away on his motorbike. And if all the other male principals had shaved, we wouldn't have been able to tell 'em apart.
Moms, you can take whoever you want to, to this one. No vulgar language; only a couple of adolescent kisses. We thought it was gonna be a bit heavier
Definitely NOT a guys' movie. I give it one knuckle sandwich, a couple of lollipops and a broken shoestring, for one really obvious loose end it didn't tie up.
