Review 3n.1 — Hobbit 47 Match

I've been inconsistent with my reviews lately, but ... I'm baa-AAA-ack! This is my first 3-in-one review:

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" — They've split the story into three parts, and this is the second. It has plenty of special effects; wonderful outside scenery, whether real or CGI. I love the stories. Some purists criticize the movie for throwing in extra stuff not in the book. I'm not sure that's true. I read the full unabridged version of both "The Hobbit" and "The Ring Trilogy" years ago. Nothing in this most-recent movie, however, jars me enough to think it is unfaithful to the stories I read. I suspect those critical of the "additions" read only the abridged versions of the works I read.

Moms, little kids might be scared by some of the scenes, but don't worry. No blood; no guts; no car crashes; no sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Whatever trauma the little ones suffer will recede in 2-3 days, a week, tops.

Guys, despite the preceding, it's an excellent movie. Right up to the end. It stops about as abruptly as any film I've ever seen. No tapering off, no nothing. But that's minor. Go see it if you like fantasy (the clean-cut fairytale kind, not the other...). I give it 5 elven blades for action, 3 Rings of Power for effects and story, and 1 Partridge in a pear tree because I saw it during Christmas Season.

"47 Ronin" — The latest remake of a Japanese movie about a group of samurai who avenged their murdered master. Wow! I really like this one! And I don't care how true it is to the legend. It stars Keanu Reeves, which I usually can take or leave. Here, though, his stoicism and, some would say, wooden acting style fits perfectly.

Lotsa swordplay and martial arts fighting; great eye-candy scenery; enough mysticism to satisfy fantasy fans. It lacks, thank goodness, the slow introspective style of "authentic" Japanese films. Almost non-existent blood and gore, especially for a Far East sword-and-sorcery tale.

Moms, kids younger than 15 (I'm guessing) probably won't be interestd in this move. Guys, it's a good one. Earns 7 Samurai swords, 2 karate boots and 5 kabuki masks.

Finally, "Grudge Match." I took The Wife. Good for a lotta laughs. Stars Stallone, DiNiro, Alan Arkin and Kevin Hart. (I confess, I don't know him, but he does a good job.) Arkin, however, as Stallone's trainer (a la Mickey in the "Rocky" franchise), steals the show. His deadpan delivery just cracks me up and makes his funny lines absolutely outrageous.

Not what I'd call a real Guys' movie, Guys, but well worth seeing. Moms, to be truthful I can't remember if the language is blue, but I tend to think not. Nevertheless, this is not a movie for elementary school kids.

I give it 9 sets of chattering dentures, 6 Groucho mustache glasses, all for laughs, and 5-½ boxing gloves for action. Worth a view, especially on $5.25 Tuesday.